Is there a point to trying to have/make pretty things for a home when one has children?
A couple years ago, I made this as a toy chest.
(before you freak out that there are no safety-hinges, let me assure you that I quickly installed some SHORTLY after this photo was taken, previous even, to the flow of “you’re-a-horrible-mother” comments I received when I was featured on DesignSponge.
Anyway, in the last two years this thing has been brutally abused; mostly with pen–but on occasion–magic marker. And I’ve scrubbed her clean every time. But when my Bub took a pen to her once again the other day, the latest scribbles just broke my spirit. I didn’t have the emotional energy to bust out the alcohol and cotton ball yet another time.
So what do you think? Is it worth it try to have nice things in our home while there are still little grubby hands eager to smash, scribble, stain, cut, tear, lose, or break whatever you lovingly decorate your home with? Should we just wait until the right season?
I so enjoy beautifying my home, but man, is it worth all the inevitable heartache??
And PS, why didn’t I use fabric paint??! Good question.
6 Comments
Well, first my full-hearted sympathies. Second, give it a break and you’ll have heart to deal with it in a while. I once worked with a group of pre-schoolers ages 3-5, and had to teach a 4-5 year old boy how to hold a pencil! He truly had no idea!!!!!!!!!!! I was astounded that a mother could keep a pencil or crayon or marker OUT of a child’s hand for that long!!! By making those things available to your children you are nurturing the next generation of artists. So the very fact your Bub had the tools to create that abstraction of art means that you’re being a good mom. Uh-hmmmm, as I recall, you were what I termed a very “mesogenic” child yourself! I became very utilitarian, and didn’t consider any surface suitable unless it was plastic and washable. All art supplies purchased were washable versions (except the notable day when your budding artist younger brother made a michelangelo size mural on the stairwell walls with my precious permanent colored marker collection”*sigh*). But! I believe the spirit responds to real textures, wood, cloth, metal, and I have been so very pleased at the beauty you have created (on a budget, mind you– my excuse for not having nice things had always been I couldn’t afford them, which you proved me wrong), to surround your family. I also furnished our home in garage sale furniture, so that I didn’t stress too much when kids trounced it. But when we finally got nicer stuff and it was still being used for a trampoline, I realized I had missed an important opportunity to “train up a child” with proper respect for our belongings. I had felt as a child that “things” were more important than people, sometimes, and had chosen to avoid that with my own family. But I came to learn there is a better path somewhere in between those two poles. You’re on that journey and I am sure you will find your way. Let your dear one see how sad you are, and let her be part of the reclamation team, she knows you love her and will eventually remember your admonition that “where do we draw?” “ON PAPER!!!!!!!!” Perhaps seeing you work on so many different surfaces has inspired this “creativity,” Anyhow, take heart, you will be amazed how quickly there comes a day when there is no one drawing on anything, anywhere in your home! Oh and everything comes full-circle, I eventually had a son that I had to FORCE to learn to hold a pencil when he was 4-5 years old, because he was absolutely UNINTERESTED in artistic ventures. As you recall, his forte was throwing well-aimed batteries. Yet he was typing 33 words a minute on the computer by the time he was 6-7 years old. So maybe you’ll get one of those models!
love you dearly…….
I often feel this way in my home. I have a 2 year old boy and my house goes from tidy to tornado in 2.5 seconds. I have basically given up on beauty and perfection for at least the next 18 or so years. Hang in there…I really do understand
I hear you! I thought this for so long and I really think I just needed to make beautiful things that are also almost indestructible! (or at least easily cleaned.) I was in love with those fabric head boards with buttons and was going to make matching ones for my kids room and then the thought of them drawing on them helped me decide to go on a hunt for metal vintage beds to strip and repaint. Good luck.
That, Mim, is what happened to my last couch, you know the striped one? My enemy was the TERRIBLE DRY ERASE marker, that thing can do more damage…I love ball point ink pens compared. One thing I can say is when its time to throw away that box, you will actually ENJOY doing so!!! Milly actually cried when they shipped off that couch, her old friend. But see, right now my couches are staying pretty clean because we have a no pen on the couch rule…but my kids are 3-6, and Georgie can’t hold a pen yet!!! That age from 0-2 especially is impossible!!! Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to clean our houses again, is it worth it to repent when we know we’ll sin again, is it worth it to try a little harder and learn some tricks. Why I hear miss Mary Poppins whispering in my ear at this very moment. Just wait, “Chim-chiminy..” No that’s not it! “Jane, Michael!” No, that’s not it, Ahh, its clear now, “Just a Spoon full of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go down, the medicine go DOOOO-Own the medicine go Down, just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…In the most DELIGHTFUL way! Love you,
P.S. Readers, Mim’s birthday was two days ago, any birthday love for her! Yes! We LOVE Mim!
Maybe you could find some cheap canvas to cover the box in and let the kids have at it. But then, that might encourage them to color on everything…
Kids are the worst! Sienna is one of those who is uninterested in holding pens/crayons. She bit the top off of several crayons and ate them the other day, so those are her true feelings about their usage. I don’t know the answer to your question. I am dreading all of the real messes that are to come. I was reading a similar blog post awhile back and someone in the comments section said their house rules were: Don’t hurt things, don’t hurt others and don’t hurt yourself. I liked that. I hope I will adopt that. But I have no experience with this yet, so we’ll have to talk in a couple years.