I was a little anxious as we all shuffled through the bottle neck of the doorway–dozens of teary-eyed moms guiding their carefully groomed little children to their seats. Twinkle had nothing but excitement and anticipation all morning long, but I saw a wave of timidity and nerves wash over her face as she absorbed the mood of the room. She started to cry when all the moms started to quietly steal away, and so Tito, Tiny and I all stayed with her until she was confident, calm and distracted again. We slipped out as the whole class giggled over the teacher’s book–a little mouse hiding in the backpack of boy on his first day of school. The whole way home I imagined her having a melt down as soon as she realized I wasn’t there, and half expected the phone to ring for a good hour after we were home. When we went to pick her up all the nerves had relaxed, and she acted like she’d been going to Kindergarten for years. She was full of news and novelties, and her favorite part was of course, recess.
I’m sad to be at the end of a chapter that I have loved so much. Of course it’s not an end as much as it is a beginning, but even so, it means that my babies are growing and moving on from phase to phase. Many of you don’t know that I was seriously considered homeschooling Twinkle. I was homeschooled until 7th grade (except Kindergarten), and had a wonderful childhood and educational experience. I have always admired my mom’s ability to do what she did, and valued the things I learned. In the end it came down to what felt right, and most especially where I felt Tito and Tiny are at. Tito is going through a rough patch, and I felt like some one-on-one time will be good for our relationship. Also and maybe more importantly, I’m working with three different developmental therapists with Tiny right now, and sometimes I feel like her therapy takes up my life. I already feel overwhelmed with it all, and like I’m not doing enough, so I felt that what I have on my plate right now is exactly what I can handle. I don’t feel I could throw homeschooling into the mix as well. That being said, I do plan on supplementing and doing many of the things that I treasure from my own childhood (lots of reading, Motessori and fieldtrips), and I will take her education year by year–I am open to homeschooling in the future if that feels right.
I am so lucky to have my sweet Twinkle–she is nothing but a joy and help to me. She’s unbelievably bright and independent–she’s a perfect mix of my creativity and Allan’s logic. As I watched her today, I couldn’t help but burst with pride and love, and gratitude that she’s mine.
Details of the backpack of a few words: same vintage floral fabric as her jeans, made up the pattern, she loves it,, materials cost $13 bucks. Done.