Last week was a really difficult one for our family, and life has been pretty stressful since then. Last time I blogged I mentioned that Tiny was about to have a surgery putting a G tube (for feeding) directly into her tummy, so we could eventually phase out her nasal feeding tube. The surgery went well, but recovery and the TRANSITION between the feeding tubes has been rough. I don’t have the emotional energy to give all the details, but basically her reflux has become significantly worse, and she’s not tolerating the tummy feeds very well thus far. We’re working on it, and I’m hoping that it’s just a matter of time. She’s been in a lot of pain in seems like, and we’re not sure why, which is the main source of my stress. Oh! There’s nothing worse than not knowing what’s wrong or how to fix it, especially when it comes to her G tube site which is tender and fragile. The slightest bump could pop the tube out, and that’s a lot of pressure on me, especially with two other little kids who love to kiss and play with their baby sister. She’s also pulled out her nasal tube TWICE since her G tube surgery (she’s becoming so darn coordinated!), which is a whole other story by itself. And then there was a horrific episode+911 call+ambulance ride+ER visit last week that really shook us all up. It was a horrible medicine mix up, and although she’s fine now, there was an awful awful moment when I really didn’t know if she was going to be okay. It’s been a long past couple of weeks, and my other kids have had to deal with us being gone frequently to the hospital. They’ve been champions, and have been amazingly happy and helpful.
So having shared a little of our situation, I want to share what’s in my heart this season. We are so blessed and grateful, and have never felt it more than we do now. My mother heart has grown exponentially–I treasure every little breath and touch and smile from my sweet baby. Of course I always loved her as I have my other kids, but somehow my love and care and worry have grown even deeper.. I am so grateful to be her mama, and to have such a precious little family. My children are my world, and my husband is the most amazing man I know. I am grateful.
As you can imagine, hospital bills have stretched our finances to their student-loan-limit and far beyond, and we have been unbelievably blessed by the generosity and kindness of others. You know, as hard as this all has been, it’s been so incredible to see how good people are, and to see such amazing examples of selflessness and service. We are grateful to be in the position we’re in, because we’re learning in a way we couldn’t possibly have ever understood otherwise what it truly means to be Christlike and kind. We’re so grateful to everyone who has helped us–in any way, especially those of you who have made our Christmas season so special. We’ll never be able to thank you all enough, and we just hope that sometime soon we’ll have the chance to pay it forward.
So Merry Christmas friends. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, and that you find yourself surrounded by the people you loved most.